Curls and Beer
by The Char
Summary: A lot of people can't distinguish the Italies at the first glance. Lovino and Feliciano convince themselves that Germany can't distinguish between the two of them, so they decide to test him... However, Germany is drunk.  Involves Germany/Both Italies


"You really think he wouldn't be able too?" Feliciano slurped up a strand of noodles that Yao had given him, it was great, like portable pasta in a small plastic cup, though it wasn't that practically to carry his own cutlery with him everywhere and he couldn't quite figure out what the two wooden sticks accompanying it where for, they didn't seem edible nor did they look like a good topping to his meal.  
"Barely anybody does, I doubt that dense potato head will." Lovino said angrily, making large exaggerated hand gestures whilst talking.  
"But after a while people usually do recognize us!~"  
"But that's only because..." Lovino paused, looking intensely at Feliciano, stepping a bit closer, making the northern part of his country edge backwards slightly. "Well, we'll just have to put him to the test won't we?" He mused at the thought of showing that wurst farmer some lessons and proving to his brother for once and for all that he was worthy of a lot more than that dense dog fetishist that wouldn't even be able to see the difference between him and his dear caring brother.  
He licked one of his fingers, reaching forward to stroke Feliciano's curl down, causing an instant clatter of noodles and cutlery on the ground. Feliciano shivered, blushing. "O... n... nii-chan! What are you doing."  
Lovino looked away, biting his lip somewhat embarrassed. "Stay... still... putting it down..." He licked his finger again, smoothing the curl away. Sorry about that Veneciano... When the curl was well down and smoothed and pressed or at least caught and hidden behind the rest of Feliciano's hair, he turned to the face his brother again and smiled. "There, now..." He turned around, stepping away from Feliciano for a while, turning his back to his brother, who saw little more than him shivering from behind.  
When he turned around again, he looked somewhat flustered and exhausted, but nevertheless grinning gladly and in a rather excited fashion. His curl too, was now firmly tucked away. He chuckled, a chuckle that sounded borderline mad as his head was filled with the way he would enact his revenge on that potato freak.

Ludwig was seated in a small bar in Germany, all prepared to get well and truly plastered with Gilbert. And, though he would not like to boast, he was a good way along his mission. The brothers were in a very intimidate discussion about the importance of dogs in clown uniforms, beer, how the foam on top kinda looked like snow, and things of high priority and significance when you are boozed up.  
"So I tell you... How can we... tell if they are funny... enough?" Ludwig ventured, taking another big gulp of the... second... twenty... something beer.  
Prussia chuckled a lot too loud, downing the restants of his own beverage and loudly replying to his brother. "Welll!... We'd... just need... a comm... commis... people... to look and judge." He signed at the bartender for another pint.

"POTATO BRAIN!"  
It could only be classified as a loud obnoxious noise that was piercing through their important planning. Ludwig turned around, rubbing his eyes. This was some good stuff, he was already seeing doubles. "You got clo... ehh?" Ludwig stuttered, but was soon interrupted by his brother.  
"Italian doubles, we need a commmisssompany!" Gilbert exclaimed with passion.  
Lovino looked at him with some slight disapproval and annoyance, raising an eyebrow then shaking his head and chuckling slightly (which in turn caused the two drunks to start laughing too), they could hardly recognize the two of them at all to start with, this would be too easy.  
"Okay, big wurst!" The exclamation inexplicably caused some giggles from both German countries. "You're being challenged and tested for your own honour, so you better listen up!"  
Ludwig listened, if only because at this point he was trying to figure out if he was simply seeing double or both the Italy brothers had appeared before him. The bartender put down two fresh beers next to the German brothers. Ludwig grabbed and raised it with enthusiasm. "Enlighten me!... Italy!" He exclaimed, then pondered seriously, there was something missing.  
"Vespa." Gilbert added with grave seriousness, nodding at Ludwig, they both nodded, that seemed about right.  
"Yes. Vespa." Ludwig added, smiling.  
Lovino looked at them, genuinely befuddled for a moment, but putting his mind back to the matter at hand. "Right here, right now. You'll have to tell me who is who." He ordered, accompanied by many hand movements.  
"Who?"  
"Yes, us, Italy..." He had to be careful with speaking now. "You love at least half of us, so you should... know who is who." That was good enough, he seemed pretty drunk anyway.

Germany looked at the two of them, incredibly confused. At least it was confirmed they were two separate identities now, it was a start. I need more beer. He squeezed his eyes at both of them, at the moment he couldn't even identify one, or remember their names to start with, he could hardly remember his own name since, when matters of grave importance like dogs in clowns outfit were at hand, that didn't seem as important.  
Slowly he pointed on finger at Feliciano, than held up his hand holding the beer at Lovino. "Italy." He said sagely waving his fingers shakily at both of them. He turned around looking at Gilbert, who nodded approvingly, holding out a hand to high five.  
Lovino growled, getting impatient, wanting to taste his victory already, waving angrily between him and his brother. "No! You have to tell by name, capice?"  
Gilbert looked back equally impatiently, turning back to his beer. "Screw them, Ludwig." He said chugging down his beer in one go.  
Ludwig squinted his eyes, and through alcohol fuelled brilliance he decided that sounded like a most excellent idea. "The light... isss bad here." He stated. "Perhaps we should move to another room so I can see betterrr?" He nudged Gilbert in his side, getting the point across and causing his brother to chuckle into his beer.  
Lovino, increasingly excited and impatient sighed. "Yeah, yeah, just do it already."  
Ludwig downed his beer, wiping his mouth with the back of his arm. "I will." He grinned, standing up from his barstool, patting Gilbert on the shoulder once more, leaving a rather generous tip on counter, winking at the bartender and signaling the Italy brothers to follow him up the stairs.  
"Now..." He declared. "This... is a room." He waved one hand into the room. "It is better for..." He paused for a moment, thinking deeply. "Light."

Once back inside the room, he signed for the two brothers to sit down on the bed, and eyed them carefully. "Now... yes... sit..."  
"Hurry up, po..." Lovino started, but restrained himself. "Can you tell already."  
"Eine sekunde, eine sekunde." Ludwig mused, turning back to the door, turning the key in its lock and putting it in his pocket.  
"Wait, what are you doing you schnietzel for brain!" Lovino shouted, jumping up. All the while, Feliciano had sat quietly behind him in both the bar and on the bed, waiting for Ludwig to identify him.  
"Sha-utt up." Ludwig slurred, turning around and pushing the surprised Lovino back on the bed.  
"What are you trying to do?"  
"Screw th..." He paused thinking deeply, "identify you." He highfived himself in his mind, man, that was a brilliant save. "Now... I need to make a better.. inspection." He stated sagely, moving forwards to the brothers, settling on the bed with them. Quite suddenly he put his hands beneath Feliciano's shirt, gingerly touching the nipple of the surprised country.  
"WHAT ARE YOU-!" Lovino started, but Ludwig cut him off.  
"Now this part feels quite hot," he stated, tenderly rubbing the area around it, causing Feliciano to shiver and squirm slightly. "But... all of Italy is hot, great for holidiahhss..." He added slurring, then shook his head. He moved a bit closer, pulling up the shirt with one hand, pressing against the startled Feliciano, who was at this point blushing heavily and looking over at Lovino and clearly generally thinking this is not such a good idea.  
"Nii-channn..."  
"You... You potato bastard! Stop this instant, we... you're not doing it right!... this was not as..."  
"Schweigen." Ludwig interrupted him. "I'll compare you in a moment, ja?" He said, pulling his arms back from underneath Feliciano's shirt and turned to Lovino, who was looking at him with what he took as temptatively, but was actually more along the lines of digust and 'don't-you-even-think-of-it-beer-breath'. Ludwig moved to him, one arm reaching out to a struggling Lovino, who already had both arms outstretched to push him away, ineffectively kicking him out of protest.  
Ludwig who was considerably larger than Lovino managed to pass through the feeble Italian defense, only having to use a stick to guide him and grabbed him by his collar.  
"You win! You win! This was not the meaning of the challenge! Capice? Stop this! We... we have family in Berlin!"  
"I said Schweige." Ludwig replied, roughly pulling him closer, invading Lovino's mouth violently. A murmurred protest arose, Lovino's fist pounding against his chest. Ludwig silenced it quickly by biting roughly on the countries tongue, shutting him up enough for him to let his hand slide into Lovino's pants, with surprising adeptness unbuttoning it along the way.

Lovino gasped, becoming as red as a tomato as Ludwig's stray hand started reaching down, and his tongue was still caught up in fruitlessly trying to resist the one of the German man and he was not quite sure which of his invaded regions needed priority in protection from his hand and instead flailed them around in the middle, pushing against the toned chest before him. Despite his, granted not the most effective, efforts the hand quickly wandered down to his vital regions and quickly grabbed hold of Sicily.  
He worked his fingers around it, carefully stroking and caressing, making Lovino shiver and blush violently. He pulled his face away, turning to Feliciano, who had looked on in half-shock.  
"Now for zee comparison." He mused, pulling Feliciano a bit closer and invading his pants too. Both of the Italian countries seemed to surprised, shocked (or perhaps secretly aroused) to do anything back at this point.  
He stroked both of them for an extended period of time, muttering in german, and finally leaned in a bit closer to Feliciano, kissing him softly, moving the other hand out of Lovino's pants and under Feliciano's shirts. He gave a few rougher kisses, then smiled.

"From... personal... professional... good... tourist... experience..." He slurred, trying to find the words. "I can say that... was... the tower of Pisa..." Lovino looked at him, horrified.  
Ludwig continued caressing it with one hand, "which is... in Tuscany... "  
Feliciano shivered, blushing violently, his haircurl suddenly springing up from its constraints. Ludwig grinned, useing two fingers to twist it softly, causing the country to moan softly.  
"Which makes you... North... Fe... Feli... Feliciano..." He may have not gotten it in one go, but at least he remembered one name. He turned to Lovino, who was looking back at him, flabbergasted. "Which makes you..." He said pointing a shaky finger. "... South... Lo... Ro... Lo... Tomato face..." He grinned, leaning back against Feliciano, one hand still resting in the Northern brother's pants.  
At this point Lovino started spouting curses in Italian, trying to fling himself past Ludwig, who promptly held out one arm to stop him, pull him towards him and use one finger to search through the countries hair till he managed to flick out the curl out of its hiding space, causing a violent shiver in Lovino. He grinned, pulling the southern brother towards him till he was leaning over his lap, and the northern brother was still pressed next to him. He lightly licked the end of Lovino's curl.  
"This challenge hasn't finished yet, ja?..." He mused, knowing the room key was safely tucked away. He paused, something was missing, something that would make the Italian brothers understand immediately, especially Lovino. _Capice?_ No... something else. "Vespa." He said sagely, that seemed about right. In his mind, he high-fived Gilbert.

{{More de-anoning. .?thread=7191255#t7191255 }}


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